Tease

Fuck it.

It’s happened before.

And I can handle it.

But why should I?

And why should she?

It’s difficult to not be like them.

It’s difficult not to follow .

When you do that again and again.

I don’t wanna be a man hater.

I don’t wanna lose faith.

But come on.

For fucks sake.

It’s a kind of betrayal if you think about it.

It’s a kind of tease.

You lure me in with your niceties.

And then do as you please.

Well fuck your charm.

And fuck my agenda.

I am who I am.

And I’m not backing down.

You take the high road.

Like you’re so much better.

I look like a damsel.

Well honey fuck that shit.

Cause I’m coming back stronger.

You wanna buy me a drink?

You wanna hug me hello?

You wanna tell me I’m pretty?

Then expect me to be a ho?

You do realise no is a word.

And I know there’s nothing wrong with your hearing.

Cause two seconds ago you were bragging your perfection.

But what’s done is done.

And there is no going back.

But I’ll tell you one thing.

I will get you back.

Cause I’m a strong woman.

And I don’t hate men.

But you’re not a man.

You just haven’t realised it yet.

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A Dream or A Ruse?

You are like a dream come true.

But you wake up from dreams.

Sometimes part way through.

I wanna skip to the end.

I wanna know the truth.

Is this dream real?

Or are you a ruse?

I find it hard to look at you.

I find it hard to say what I know to be true.

I wanna know all about you.

I want to seek out the truth.

I’m not used to someone like you.

And no it’s not cause you’re nice.

It’s because in my mind you only tell me half the story.

And yeah before you say it.

I do that too.

But I did say I love you.

Silence is golden so they say.

But God did it hurt when there was nothing to say.

So what now?

Where do we go?

Do I stick around and hope for the best.

Or is this just one big gigantic mess?

I look back at my past.

It was easy to be the tart.

Complete control.

Or at least it looked that way.

Now you’re in my head.

And I can’t get away.

I say please don’t hurt me.

But to tell you the truth.

I’m already hurt.

And I can’t tell if it came from you.

Because let’s face it I’m not used to you.

And it’s not cause you’re nice.

It’s because you didn’t tell the truth.

I wanna know.

Not knowing drives me crazy.

But more than that.

I can’t believe I did that.

I was vulnerable.

I was weak.

I was an idiot for not letting you lead.

And yes I’ve said it to others before.

And yes I meant it.

But let’s consider this.

You’re only number four.

Remember what you know.

Think of my history.

My virginity went long before you met me.

So number four.

What will it be?

Cause I’m thinking you need to tell me.

Or leave.

But no.

Don’t do that.

Why move so fast?

But God why did I have to be the one to start?

I know it’s not a game.

But honey I can’t help it.

I’ve placed my move.

And I don’t want you to reject it.

So what’s it gonna be.

I just hope you choose me.